Unless you live off the grid, high on a mountain top, or under a rock, you’ve almost certainly heard the recent buzz about butt plugs. Everyone’s talking about them. Getting started, however, can be a smidge bit daunting. If you are “butt plug curious” but have been scared to jump in, now you have a friend to help guide you through the scary part and fast-track you to the fun part.

This fun guide will serve as an icebreaker into the butt plug conversation and help you learn everything you always wanted to know but were afraid to ask about my personal favorite toy, the butt plug. (A royal trumpet sounds in the distance.)

What is the butt plug back story?

Under a much less fun name, rectal dilators, the butt plug’s origin can be traced back to the late 1800s. Amazingly, these rectal dilators were professed to cure almost every ailment known to man, including headaches, insomnia, bad breath, acne, anemia, anorexia, hemorrhoids, nervousness, irritability, cold extremities, and more. It was even posited that butt plugs would cure insanity. (They make me crazy horny, so consider that claim debunked.) Over time butt plugs, as we know them today, shifted into the sex toy category.

What types of butt plugs are there?

Butt plugs come in a variety of shapes, materials, and sizes. Most of these variables are chosen based on personal preference, but since you’re (likely) a newbie, I’ll give you an overview and then recommend where to start.

  • Sizes – Size matters. Nowhere is it truer than when talking about things getting inserted into our butts. If you are a beginner, you’ll want to start small. But there are more nuances to consider:
  • Bulb Size – The tapered bulb at the end of the butt plug can vary in size, and the size measurement references the widest part of the bulb. On average, you’ll find butt plugs in sizes small, medium, large and extra-large from approximately 1” to 3.” Unless you know that you have an extra small anal cavity (not saying you’re a tight ass), small should be perfect for your beginning butt plug adventure.
  • Stem Length – The length of the butt plug is generally related to your purpose. If you are using the butt plug for an upcoming anal play session, the longer stem option will work best. It reaches further for more opening, stimulation, and guided manipulation. If you are planning to wear your butt plug around town for an extended period of time, the shorter stem will be more comfortable. In general, the shorter stem is the best place to start for beginners.
  • Materials – According to Web MD, butt plug materials that are non-porous are best, which translates to silicone, Pyrex glass, and stainless steel. Although there are some other materials available, these are the most popular and healthiest. So, just stick with these options!

How do I use one for the first time?

Putting the butt plug in for the first time can be scary, but it’s actually quite simple. Here are all the instructions you need.

  • Set the scene. Relax. Put on some tunes (consider this sexy playlist). Have a glass of wine, if you like. Make sure both the mood and the time are right; that you have privacy and won’t be rushed. It does help if you are at least a little horny. Another fun tip, call a friend or partner to help you get in a fun mood and provide moral support. (I’m invited to the butt plug party, right?)
  • Lube, lube, lube. Like anything anally-related, lube plays a central role. Rub some lube on your asshole and on the butt plug. Be very generous with the lube, especially since you are a beginner. When you think you’ve put on enough lube, put on a little more for good measure. Now that you are lubed up, try some anal fingering to loosen things up. This may be where your friend comes in handy (pun intended).
  • Insert slowly. I recommend getting onto all fours. Use very gentle pressure and begin to insert the butt plug in. Breathe during the whole process, trying to focus on relaxing your anus. If you feel pain, stop. Don’t force things. About four centimeters in is the anal sphincter which will often tighten up reflexively. When you hit this resistance, stop, but don’t remove the butt plug. Breathe, relax, and slowly the sphincter should release. When it does, you will feel a gentle suction pull the butt plug in, and the glorious stimulation ensues. This process may take a little while the first time. The key is to relax.
  • Remove slowly – When the time to remove the butt plug comes, slow and relaxed is the name of the game. Gently relax the muscles and pull ever so gently. Once removed, wash with soap and hot water, safely storing your butt plug away for another day.

What about advanced options?

As a beginner butt plug user, you’ll be getting started with a size small, short bulb as a beginner. But I thought it would be fun to cover a few creative ways people are using butt plugs in the advanced and intermediate categories, giving us newbies something to strive for.

  • P-spot stimulation – Somewhere between a dildo and a run-of-the-mill butt plug is the longer, aerodynamic p-spot butt plug. It has curves in all the right places to hit the male erogenous zone known as the p-spot. P-spot butt plugs even come with a vibrating feature that adds to the anal fun.
  • Remote control – If you’ve ever been in a long-distance relationship, you know that it takes creativity at times to keep the connection feeling real. A remote-control butt plug can be perfect for the LDR or anyone looking to hand some control over to their play partner. A phone app allows one lucky person to control the vibrations and thrusting movements of the butt plug that is being worn by another. Just imagine the fun of turning it all the way up during a business meeting.
  • Textured – The inside of the anus has thousands of nerve endings. This, my friends, is why we adore our butt plugs so much! Textured butt plugs can add to the sensation that is felt. Once you’ve gotten past the beginner stage, you might explore butt plugs with spirals, bumps, and tiered surfaces for an added layer of anal stimulation.

Why do so many butt plug users love them so?

If you like all things anal, you’re going to love the way the butt plug feels snugly inserted into your peach. It can increase arousal, amplify orgasms and make sexual encounters fun. But wait, there’s more!

Butt plugs are also great for:

  • Anal training – preparing the body for anal sex, pegging, or any kind of anal play.
  • Bonding – wearing butt plugs out on dates to share a secret sexual secret together.
  • Appetite suppression – curbs your appetite, and prevents overeating because you already feel full.
  • Increased focus – can help increase focus to get work done or amplify energy.
  • Improving mundane tasks – Boring family events and tedious errands are so much more fun when plugged.

The first time I inserted a butt plug, I was all by myself and scared to put it in. So, I used Google to figure it out and recalled the words of a friend – breathe, relax. Once I got the little guy in, however, a whole new world of fun and pleasure opened up for me. The stimulation, the feeling of comfort, the impact on my sexual pleasure…I felt like it gave me superpowers.

Fast forward to now, I am an experienced butt plug user now and wear one a few times a week for a variety of reasons. I wrote this article for you, you newbie butt plugger. In the hopes that you have a smooth first experience and learn what I wish I had known much earlier – butt plugs can add so much to your sex life and your sexual pleasure.